Maybe I did or maybe I didn’t
I never made it clear, apparently I’m a fan of indecision.
On my eyes are blinders so I can’t see your face
Thoughts in my mind could fill binders but I keep them closed to save face.
Limitations, inadequacies and circumstance
Mulling it all over while sitting on the fence.
Eenie mine mo’ing, flipping coins and picking flower pedals.
Thoughts overflowing as I’m already sewing the ribbon for a runner-up medal.
I’m dressing as a question mark for Halloween.
Hard pressing like a seasoned loan shark then right back to thinking like I’m fifteen.
Graveyard of good intentions an extension of my contentions.
Avant garde getting a creative intervention.
Make up your mind, troubleshoot with blush
Put yourself out there then do your best to keep it on the hush.
I don’t know, I’m not sure, hmm ahh’s and maybe laters’
I didn’t show, I read the brochure and what I saw made me a traitor.
I’m making a revision, I think I found the cure
I’m overcommitting to indecision for the long run, but I’m really not sure.
Maybe I did or maybe I didn’t
Letter for letter, word for word
clever to severed, heard to absurd.
Noun to noun, verb to verb.
Clown to profound, hit the curb or hit the herb only concern is how to earn.
Self respect and introspect, dreaming of scheming until I slept.
Awoke with a gasp nightmares of where I was considered last in every task.
Hold those stones you cast because shit rolls downhill real fast.
Cold sweats, fan-blowing listening to the knowing by Abel Xo’n
Droppin’ poems in a modern day fable with the lamp vibratin’ off the side table.
That’s the thanks I get, one shot of whatever’s left and not replying to your one-word text.
For what you sent me I resent thee.
Forget about it all now, Men in Black flashing white lights loose your life.
Forget lost, never found.
I came up for breath, did a double check and realized I drowned.
Horn melodies and tight snares. Neglected jealously and harsh stares.
This heaven is hell you see? Ambition disguised as fear that’s why I despise you dear.
My battery died was a cowardly lie so I cleverly try to not sever the ties and keep em’ tight.
Bunny hopping pot holes on a mountain bike, slight metaphor for life.
If you never learn how, you’ll hit more than most and might end up on the ground.
Dust your self off, straighten the chain.
Oil on your hands commit a crime they’ll know who to blame.
Fingerprint smudges and bombshell crushes.
Your goals go slow whilst my dogsled mushes.
Cracking the whip and after six open bar I sip.
C on my hat for contemplating the conceited feeling contrived while trying to concentrate.
I’m trying to congregate while you complicate so I over compensate
Ah well, too late. Here comes the wedding cake.
I’ve only tried once, but I’ve lost twice.
I’ll indeed follow your lead but refuse to take your advice.
That’s the thanks I get for loving you.
Wish I saw the bigger picture like an overview, or better yet a manual of how to get over you.
I can tell it’s over in her tone even before I was all-alone.
She doesn’t want a man she wants to fuck without feelin’ like a slut.
Making a perfect mistake at a pull door pressin’ my luck.
Uh oh, here we go again. In love with another girl just tryin’ to be my friend.
I’ll steer clear of your crocodile tears, doing something for nothing like a volunteer.
I showed up late to the premier of why I needed you here and what I accounted for is now in arrears.
I tried my hand but never defined the brand.
Now I work for a new company called hurt as she floats by in that same skirt.
She switches us up every season as part of her treason
I got the one feelin’ numb on a rooftop freezing.
End it or mend it when it comes to our friendship.
You were the shameless damsel with it all handled.
I took a gamble, you tried to scramble and now I’ve been tagged by the vandal.
May seem brutal but for her it’s just the usual.
She sucks it up, sucks it in and covers up in the mirror with a grin.
It’s arrogant for me to disparage the thoughts of a love lost.
It’s an insomniac act with a reasonable cause.
Moment-to-moment feelings I track until the very last straw.
I’m over closure and was never completely sure of your allure.
The evangelist of randomness with a band of false prophets making profit.
It’s just a unexpected lesson for an impressionable adolescent.
Nomad with a notepad.
Call a cab to our collab if you’re feeling bad.
She has to take control of her own soul.
She’s back at it like an addict shootin’ up in the attic.
I’d explain how vain but I’ve said enough.
Torch a view of what was old for that feeling you can rise above.
Let the good time roll. You only get one time around; at least that’s how the story goes.
As far as that, I’m feeling unsecure.
Never was considered “in” but I’m over it I think I found the cure.
I’m brushing shoulders with the newest of world orders.
I’m taking orders we can’t fulfill to remain real.
Feelin’ different. Wrote you a long message but never sent it.
I remain what I claim grasping at change trying to stay sane but never the same.
No one to blame but my unprogressive brain.
Old Same, Same Old
Stay Gold, Paid extra for what was considered sold.
I practiced abstinence for a bit but was just fucking myself.
Lately I’ve been reaching out and blowing dust off the shelf.
“How are yous” and “we haven’t spoke in a whiles”
There was a reason for that I reviled with a smile, command+n to create a new file.
I told you I’d be there soon, half past June. I said I’d meet you there if I still care.
Doing a good job to scattered applause.
I paid to get in to see you but couldn’t afford the cost.
Either way I got in disguised as a friend and it’s you I still highly recommend.
Looked around the room to find out I was alone.
She took my heart out like a loan
It’s growing back but it’s black as coal from her tarnished goals.
Harsher things rarely told but I’m reaching out via mobile phone on my way home.
I’m looking through the hole of a rolled up scroll with a story untold
I need to unravel, writing thoughts as I travel.
Slapped on this wrist of mine, living on borrowed time.
No love lost but it’d be a great find.
Control what holds the thoughts in my mind.
It’s in a box, a hole, a jam a really tight bind.
Doing right half past midnight although it should have been a crime.
Summer breeze in the winds distance is a peaceful chime.
Rooms Smokey, so please bear in mind what you believed I had in mind.
Nothing comes to.. It must of slipped mine when I was trying to find some peace of..
Nothing compares to you, wearing all black with white gloves
Tieing an imaginary rope around you and now you’re mime.
Forlorn hope as a cope mechanism, feeling unaligned.
Slippery slope in a barrel, Mystery remotes and you hate the channel.
Saw it coming, Politician looking for a good time, balloon popped with a scandal.
Just trying to unwind, on a beach with sandals.
Different from the usual bind of picking up more than I can handle.
This is a period piece like messing up your sheets in the suite.
The Moments the Moment so everything else takes the back seat.
What a way to end it, I repeat the Moments the Moment and don’t forget it.
Up north trip was a trip
Keg stands, hillbilly games and right ankle pain.
Inflamed black and blue, I didn’t and still don’t know what to say to you so please stay tuned.
That’s god’s honest truth and now I’m on a roof click clacking on my phone like I usually do.
Feeling a beautiful way on the last day of May.
Washed out bricks and tight lips, you never seem to go deeper.
I’m still contemplating if I should keep her.
I can’t change like what’s falling out my pockets on the shingles
All I ever meant to do was mingle and now I’m considered single.
You were a gift and I was Kris Kringle delivering you to an early morning surprise
when I discovered that you chose to lie while looking in my eyes.
Goodbye wasn’t enough, nor was so long or see ya later.
More like string you along with a slow fizzle for the weekly flavor.
Here’s a favor you can savor, a sentiment to keep when you start to feel the heat.
Walking on me with cleats for you to move on was an extraordinary feat.
Featuring she is where I wanted to be until she turned it around like a key.
Release the chain and crack it a bit and soon enough she’ll see as I try and quit.
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have crept behind your back and slept under other roofs,
I might have lost that bet. It’s something I regret;
there goes another promise kept trying to maintain the truth.
Ah, that’s that and that’s this too, imaginary hurt for a bit, then it disappears like a removable tattoo.
One day this’ll all be over, and one day you might decide to call me sober.
Until then I’ll just let it ring, or hit ignore
You didn’t consider that you might have lost your allure and may be considered an everyday whore.
Drinking a jar full of ice, gusts of cool wind it’ll have to suffice
it’s where I’m at not where I’ve been.
You can say that again, heading for the shore in a jet boat without a captain.
Consider it done I say while basking in the sun
Can’t believe the birthday month has already begun.
A year older and there’s plenty more to come.
Experiences, lessons learned and occasional fun.
You don’t know what’s happening but you can guess it’s inappropriate?
Her judgment reflects it but I won’t show her how close she gets.
To the truth or I’d be helping her out with the knot for my noose.
Kick out the chair and I’ll meet you there, in spirit.
Headphones full blast cause I ain’t even tryin’ to hear it.
Chambers full so clear it; I might have let things slip like a little secret
About your whereabouts and where you keep it.
Turn you out like my temporary spouse when I finally came around her house.
It was never my place to say but by the end of the day
I hope you decide that it’s my place you’d like to stay.
Overnight, as I explain why you’re the one with the invite.
Before we fight about your preemptive strike and prove you’re more bark than bite.
It’s quite right the way you use your spite to reach the trite height of how you see life
despite some of the feelings you may excite it was your script I was planning to rewrite.
That’s just me being polite as I sip this sprite atop a construction site.
She taught me about a slow burn and now it’s your turn.
In my head my only concern is when will she ever learn
Spreading out her gaps like the Colonel of Kern
Kick turns, between two ferns and awaiting your return.
splitting atoms and doing things I can’t fathom in my dreams
throwing tantrums in tandem with no one else but how she seems.
bits and pieces mashed up between what I perceive and what I’ve actually seen.
Extra long showers submerged in water like an aquamarine getting clean
Step out of the steam like a different person dressing down for Halloween.
Peddle bikes, verbal fights and open mic nights.
Motor cars, making up and stage freight.
If it’s not one thing than it’s defiantly the other.
Feeling dehydrated Apu’s serving Squishy’s during an Indian Summer.
Sunshine with high chances of back-sweat.
Fact is it’s unattractive as I’m sure you’ve gathered as of yet.
You can find me spraying my tag for no one else to see.
Black finger tips in the dark, bike cops can’t patrol on thee.
Short skirts, tight tops and high boots
Spent all night drinking, then ate a full bowl of fruit
Puking up dark red profusely from my head, digestive track reroute.
Much like Abe Lincoln’s did when Booth came to shoot.
My 50th chance to get it off my chest
At post 2 I thought I should have just given it a rest.
But I didn’t, I just continued writing what I’m livin’
Batter up in the 9th inning focused on winning
Could you be my sensibility because I’ve lost mine
Feeling fine with the lost time
Change for the bus lost dimes, blowin’ up tap dancing on a land mine
all in due time I think you’ll find
Scaling the building in my prime so I’ll continuously climb
You opened it up to where you felt most comfortable with
I closed it shut because I forgot how it needed to be dealt with.
Ignored your calls, notifications and all.
Trying to stall as you pray on my downfall.
Interrogation with me as the suspect is the impression I get from your text.
Incarceration via infatuation from the very first mention of sex.
Nevertheless, lest I regress.
Locked down on locked screens conserving battery
Asshole thing to say is sometimes full blown flattery
Crouching writer with broken wheels on a wagon
Late nights what pleases me is running on trees like crouching tiger hidden dragon.
How did we end up here?
Put the beginning behind us so we can steer clear of the feelings of fear when she’s near.
“There there, it’ll all be fine”
Cut it off now, delete the number and in due time.
You’ll bounce back stronger than ever
with more on the top then you ever thought she severed off
Clicking on ex’s, it’s the Big-Log off.
I’m never just saying things just to say them.
True feelings and motives through rhythm I’m thankful if you’ve read em’
Beautiful bliss on a laundry list
I need to pick-up drop-off and learn how not to reminisce non-stop.
Before it’s all said and done you need to know were done.
Fun is fun but I got lost, it was a vacation until I knew the true cost.
Bermuda triangles rival and I’m holding you liable.
It was undeniable how viable it was as I try not to scoff
Now the shoes on the other foot and I’m dancing my ass off.
Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle
behind the iron curtain moving a mountain for a dug up crystal.
Hide my face, close my eyes and listen to the sound
It was all a dream until it all fell down.
all my days in a haze all I want is you until you stay.
Ah well, forever alone.
Like a dog with a bone getting something on my own.
Free vodka night, heavy plight, Growers wine, big cup, empty in due time.
Kid brother, a year older at the brgr bar getting the cold shoulder for acting hard.
Shallowest groove loosing my cool, overcoat check in retrospect feeling like a dick.
The asshole without $3.50 to save himself from getting jacked like the week before
Got it all back, headphones shaking me to my core
At this very moment, “Bitch I’m 21” and you don’t know it.
Now and then, again and again as I vent.
Can’t remember yesterday clearly so I have to check my sent.
Where was my mind at, with all the type of things I said?
Knocked it out the park when I’m invited over to get fed.
Full stomachs, wide eyes, surprises and broken ties.
Been here for a moment but I watch the clock while I wait
Moment of truth in a blender with a moment of fate
Relating to the unrepeatable from a vacant view
Don’t trust the fakin’ crews no matter what they say to you
I’m a little more secure about my insecurities.
Tired of aimless drifting, In the fall wind gust with the leaves
Please spare me the responsibility of holding onto your spare keys
Yeah, I guess I trust you back but never thought it’d be like that.
I won’t be over later; I got tied up at work
Quick lies like a party favor and now I’m the Captain Kirk of Hurt.
Choppy with the speech but undeniably me.
Savor my last visit as I contemplate.
You should have never played the victim and that was your mistake.
How were you to know to my neck tied there’s a villain’s cape?
I always did my best for you, well I guess just barely
Hard to be held to that when you never treated me fairly so it scared me.
Picking up a red on the way so I walk
Blocking off half my thoughts like they’re outlined in white chalk
Washed away with the rain
Cooking with it in the end so it’s hardly part of my game.
I established what I claim.
17 answers to 21 questions
taking in the hard glances all through my sessions
hard not to mention
Friends, enemies and foes
good girls, housewives and hoes
feeling like I’m loosing my train of thought
Or was just late for it, I suppose
I impose on the type of things that you’ve enclosed
It always takes two half’s to make a whole
Winter woes and consoled goals
seasonal relationships, a lesson while the leaves fall
I Didn’t have to go, but I had to send you packing
Constantly on my heels reacting
Wiping away tears with a discarded napkin.
On my grind like back K’s
and I’ll be flipping on these cowards like nollie tres’
but Hey, more than a mouthful to say
some fallin’ out my lips like a lisp
It was the night after last since you came past
Completing my last task as I stare in-between your eyelash.
Scaled it down to the ground but no loves lost
Was at one point considered soft
now I’m a Viking on a horse lopping heads off
Either way I’m getting play and bringing lust to her spot.
In and out around the clock with all I got.
I had something important to say but must of forgot.